I thought I did this already

21 and 1 day old, and I am in the dumps. I was running on a bit of a drain when I got back from Cuba on Friday. I wasn't ready to come back and get back into the grind. As much as I knew that it was only a month until this semester will be over, I just didn't want to. The weekend passed and Monday was my birthday as well as a near 12 hour day on campus. I came home to an empty house, roommates gone to play poker. My best friend gave me the cold shoulder the whole night and I just couldn't figure out why, except for that fact that he is an inconsiderate bastard.

Today I ran into the internship co ordinator for my program who told me to apply for an internship in Toronto. I - don't know how to articulate just how I am feeling, but just was I was getting into the swing of what this program is all about, I am thrust back into the business world.

I am more than likely over reacting but I don't know what to do. Or I know what I have to do, but I just don't want to do it. I have to apply for this internship, I have to go forward with Katie's project, I have write all my papers and I have to go to work.

And the gym. My fuck buddy told me that he could see my muscle mass diminishing. I was glad that he said something so I know, but WTF? I skipped the gym today because I ran into a friend of mine who I don't see very often. We talked over our issues and I felt a lot better, but just not up to going to gym. I really wish that I had.

I think that I am going to 'train' for the Western bi-athlon. Its called a 'splash and dash' 500m swim, 5km run. Nothing too much. but I'm going to do it so at least I have one race. 'Race'.

I have to figure out this motivation problem because it's hit me like a ton of bricks. My girls are coming up from Toronto to party for my birthday on Friday. I am sure that it should be a good thing for me, but it might just make things worse. Whatever it will be a fun night nonetheless.


I also wanted to write a review of the resort that we went to in Cuba, but I just don't want to. I don't want to over analysis the experience. I had an awesome time, great memories, totally worth the money. That all that really needs to be said. And I'll post a picture or two, just to make the post semi-interesting. This was one of those masturbatory/therapeutic posts...

Future topics: My dream boy, Trent Reznor and NIN, and something random.