the reluctant post

I don't even want to post today. But then again, I'm not really inspired to post much anymore anyways, so this is as a good an opportunity as any.

The pledge is going terribly. I have been ... smoking? Lets count. Monday I was smoking because I spent the night on a patio and it was nice. Tuesday I only smoked what three cigarettes. Wednesday I went to a party where I didn't know everyone (a birthday for my ex- attended by people in my faculty - I really need to get out more), so me and a friend spent the evening on the deck smoking. Last night I only had two smokes. All in I have smoked something like 15 cigarettes in four days. Not bad but not good. However in my defense this was a heavy party week, I'm really not this popular usually.

Goal for next week - less than 10 all week.

Oh and the carbs - also going terribly. On what was it may have even been Thursday I sat done for dinner and cracked a beer, only then realizing that beer is carbs. Bullshit! I also had a pizza binge on Monday. And a giant slice on Wednesday. BUT all the other days have been ... better. I had a bagel this morning from Tim's because I was near death. I went to a movie on Tuesday and bought almonds and cereal from the bulk store to snack on. I am watching what I eat more carefully, and I think that as time goes by I will be making better choices without even thinking. But I crave it so bad. It will get better. As an alternative to beer I now drink liquor with diet pop. Rye and Diet Ginger. Rum and Diet Coke. I was drinking Gin and Tonics, but tonic is like 24g of sugar a serving, and I can drink oh - 5 servings? 6? Lots, so thats out.

And the gym. Oh the gym. I'm going when I can. I went Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Had to skip Thursday for work and today (conveniently) the power went out just as I was heading over.
I am going to say that my effort affords me a C-. Mostly because of the smoking and the pizza disasters. Shooting a B at least for next week. I am scared for what an A looks like.

Other dramas in my life: Fighting the FIMS office for being dill holes. Oh and the poke guy is at it again. After finally locking him in a box over the break, I ran into his beautiful tan face the first day, first thing in the morning, of school *shakes head*. Then I saw him and some chick flirting it up Thursday night. Then he gave me a hug after work *sigh*. Then, of course, a poke. *shakes head*. I don't know anymore. I put myself out there to him in a email, because lets be serious, I have no balls, so we'll see what happens.

True. I think I feel better. Cheers.