update

Today is July 31st which means that I have been out in Vancouver for a little over a month. And I have nothing to show for it. Well, I just paid three months of rent. Two back home, one here. It is really frustrating to work so gad damned much and not be able to buy what I want. I drink, a lot, so I guess thats where a good chunk of my money goes, but I don't drink more here than I do at home. $20 at the bar, plus a couple of six packs here and there. I don't get it. But this will be my last week of back breaking labour. It should calm down slightly after the weekend, which I am not even working, which I am thankful for.

This weekend of Vancouver Pride, and I should really be more excited than I am. I missed Toronto and was kinda P.O. that I didn't stay for it. But only kinda. I think I am not as psyched for pride because I am not free. I am not free to buy the outfits I want. I am not free to chase after the boys I want. I am perpetually being held back.

I think I am the one that is holding me back. But I so much prefer to blame other people. My 'lover' from London is in town, and while I thought it would be good to see him and have a good fuck, he wants to be with me, and I am not all about that. Friday at Odyssey was by far the best night we have gone there. the boys were HOT, the music was AWESOME and everyone was FLIRTY. But lover was in the room so I couldn't get my dance on with the three hotties checking me and Shawn out. BALLS.

Anyways, I think I made it pretty clear that me and Shawn are doing our own thing this weekend. We will have to decide what parties we are going to tomorrow so we can buy tickets. You know my cheap ass, I hate buying things, especially expensive things, especially expensive gay things, especially expensive gay event things. But Lord knows I hate waiting in line more than all of those things. So I figure we will get tickets to two or three parties. That will be a good $200. Fuck the gay scene.

What else. I think I am also down because I have not been gymming as hard as I should be. I barely get there twice week. I blame that on working 40+ hours a week. I say 40+ only because last week I worked 42. This week was 60. The week before last was 55. This week coming up will be... just under 50. And the money? Rent. I can't imagine if I was trying to pay for school too. I guess all this hard work will seem worth is when I don't have to worry about rent in September. I guess....


My one saving grace, the beach. Me and Shawn went to Sunset Beach yesterday and had a few beers before he went get this chest waxed and I went to work. We sat there just enjoying the sun the breeze, the mountains. I said to him, "I can really see myself living out here." I really could.

Ok I gotta go. Make the most of the afternoon... before more work. AGH! Cheers